Hearing Loss and the Holidays

Season's Greetings from our family to yours.

People that do celebrate the holidays know it is a great time of the year to embrace each others company and catch up on what has happened over the last year. The important thing is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Typing his name just sends goof bumps down my arm in a good way. Remembering why we celebrate the holiday.

I find it amazing during the holiday season to drive around the mall and stores throughout town and suddenly say, "Gosh, I never knew we had this many people living in this area"? By January malls and stores look like a ghost town. This time of the year many of us are out and about attending children and grandchildren school programs and concerts. Attend various after school activities the children are involved in to celebrate the end of the season. Oh, how I miss those days. We are hustling in and out of stores trying to find that "perfect" gift to put under the tree. Then the stream of invites come delivered by hand or in the mailbox asking us to attend a party. We rush around shopping for the right attire for these occasion....a frustrating nightmare sometimes. There are different kinds of parties. There are parties with just people standing around chit chatting and enjoying the food and company of others. Next, there are those potluck parties where you mingle and try out wonderful dishes while enjoying friendships kindle. Then there are parties where the event is more formal and elegant with a sit down dinner, band in the background, dance floor, open bar, etc. We can't forget those parties you get invited to where people are crowding you, not everyone knows everyone else, the music/DJ is blasting in the background, shoes on the wooden dance floor makes annoying noise, and it feels like a zillion people are talking all at once. The holidays can bring those of us with hearing loss an enormous "headache". If there was a vote on headaches at such affairs, I would likely get a 25,000 or more "yes" responses.

How do individuals with a hearing loss handle these wonderful party times? Let me say if you have a suggestion, please add yours to the suggestion box. Here is what I have found to be useful without making myself miserable by the end of the party.

• Go with the desire to have a good time and a good attitude.
• You can decide whether you want to go or not. I have found to be respect, I attend and find something I enjoy.
• If there is a band or DJ. Ask them to play something that is the loudest and then decide where to sit for my ear(s) comfort level.
• If the music is disturbing, turn the hearing aid down or lower the Cochlear Implant volume.
• Should there be a speaker, find out where the person is going to stand so you can lip read that person.
• If you know about the party in advance, request a sign language interpreter if you need one.
• If you have an FM system or person pocket assistive device...bring it along.
• If you see a headache coming on, excuse yourself and take a 15 or 20 minute break. Let someone know you are going outside for a minute so the group does not think you have suddenly left without saying good-bye.
• If you have trouble understanding someone that does not realize you have a hearing loss, politely tell them you have a hearing loss or are deaf.
• In case you still cannot hear someone, lead them to an area that is quieter and the two of you can have a conversation.
• Remember if alcoholic beverages are served and the person you know has been drinking you might observe their speech might be slurred or difficult to understand. Don't get upset with yourself if you can't understand that person.
  
• Let the waiter or waitress at your table know you are deaf or hard of hearing and tell them to come around and face you or tap you on the shoulder when asking if you would like some coffee, water, or take your plate.
• Face people approximately 12 inches away when talking to them.
• Always thank the wonderful host or hostess for the party even in sign language.
• Should you still get a headache take something for it.
• I have found deciding not going to the party is an escape from reality unless you are a die hard "not a party type of person". Some people are comfortable with crowds and groups and others are not.
• Enjoy the party and have a good time.
  

When you find out you have a hearing loss?

Gulp! A person learns he/she has a hearing loss. Or the hearing parent learns for the first time their beautiful child has a hearing loss. The elderly grandmother has a hearing loss. [My first question to the individual is how did he/she find out they had a hearing loss? Did they go to an Ear-Nose-Throat doctor, a certified audiologist, etc.?] Wow! It can come as a shock and numerous other reactions can occur.

Yes, it can be traumatic. In life many of us face the unexpected illnesses or tragedies that permanently disables us from doing what we used to do or enjoy. Individuals that have a hearing loss is different from person to person. In the same way, one person's prescription glasses cannot be worn by another person. If an individual is profoundly deaf that person does not have any hearing whatsoever. It's a conclusive fact.

Since a child I have lip read, read, learned from audiologists and ENT doctors, professors, researchers, deaf and hearing professionals, workshops, seminars, symposiums, and the like on how things could have been better handled when I was a child. This is the first of series I will cover on that and how I faced the fact I had a hearing loss.

How do parents tell a child she or he cannot hear like Mommy and Daddy? That answer varies from one family to the next. The sooner it is presented in a positive light rather than a negative light the better. Be loving, supportive and sincere.

First, you are still you as a human being. That is first and foremost. What's the key here? You are a human being like anyone that walks this Earth before being [and this should never come about in the 21st Century] labeled as "Deaf"/"Hard-of-Hearing (HOH) person. Okay, I just knocked the socks off of you right there. In our society today still there are people that look at you as having a hearing loss before looking at you as a person and what wonderful qualities or talents you may have instilled in you. Look at the big picture. Create the attitude that this is what I can do not what I can't do. Read this last sentence very carefully and let this sink in. If I were saying this to your face I would say afterward, "Read my lips!" That's the truth unless the person only communicates in sign language I would then use sign language.

Second, it took me 10 years to "accept" that I had a hearing loss and there was nothing I could do about it. I did not bring this upon myself. There is nothing I can do to heal my ears (some case those surgery can be the answer for some). I am still the same person I have always been. Why should I pity myself? Why should I feel sorry for myself? When I was young thinking I had a hearing loss was the last thing that entered my mind was "your deaf kiddo". I was kid. I wanted to play and be a part of the family. I wanted to learn. I wanted to do all the things my classmates did. I wanted to play house. I wanted to be a nurse. There was a period of time I actually was asking and blaming God for making me "deaf" (since then I realized under my Christian faith this is not what God did to me). In fact, it was my faith in God that made me move forward. That does not mean though there weren't times I questioned God and I did a lot of praying under my blankets at night or out in the fields on the farm. I was one curious gal as a kid. I questioned everything.

Another factor is if doctors or professionals can not pin point the reason you lost your hearing. I have a simple solution- Do Not Get Hung Up On It! It is not worth the time or energy to go in circles in your mind. Move on. I repeat move on. Realize you have a hearing problem and seek sound professional assistance in addressing how you can adjust and overcome. In my own way, I beat it. I see I have your ears perked up already. It is what it is and learn to adapt and live with it. Now, don't get the wrong idea folks. This does not mean stay at home all the time and don't go out, decline invitation to places, give up vacations, never attend parties, lock yourself up in a room or closet, decline going to meetings, etc. Remember the movie, "The Miracle Worker" with Patty Duke? This is 2010 and there are many resources and assistive devices available today for those with a hearing loss. It is hard in the beginning for anyone to learn where to turn to next. Smile...I have lots of information for you.

Stay tune for 3, 4, 5, in this series.

When you find out you have a hearing loss?

Dr. Richard K. Pimentel Speaks

It was with great joy on Saturday to hear Dr. Richard K. Pimentel speak at a conference in celebration of the 20th Anniversary of the American with Disabilities Act.

What a powerful speaker that truly spoke from the heart. So much has happened in the last 20 years and so much more work is needed as we embark on issues related to the Internet and other technological advances that have occurred since the ADA was passed on July 26, 1990. We need to rise and face the daily challenges for all with diverse disabilities. We need to train our young people to stand up and dream those dreams they have in their hearts.

Dr. Pimentel shared numerous true stories and experiences he has had along the way over the last 40 years. Hearts throbbed and tears gently streamed down the cheeks of those in the audience. The empathy was there and you felt it.

The veterans was another topic. He shared key elements about the Iran and Afghanistan War and how it is affecting our military service personnel. The attention these men and women need upon return home. The need to reach out and help them. Wars sometimes affect humans in different ways and we have to prepare ourselves to address those issues and provide help immediately.

A highlight of the session was education and training employers on all aspects of hiring those with disabilities. Through my own experiences with different employers this needs utmost attention. I have always felt strong that employers need to look past my own hearing loss and look at the qualifications I had to do the job. A job I was successful in accomplishing for years but it was struggle. People would say to me, "You speak so well I forget you have a hearing loss." That's the down side but it is also the up side. Hearing loss is so invisible and transparent sometimes. How do we educate others...stay tune.

Count your blessings

Yes, you read the title correctly! The Deaf Community and those with some type of hearing loss should count their blessings. Technology in today's world has made communication much easier and more selections available.

It is awesome! We have Sorenson VRS, Z4, Purple 3, Blackberry, email, text messaging, CapTel, TTY, iPhone, AT&T, Verizon and more. We can select the right communication mode for our own personal needs. What more can we ask? Take time to appreciate that we are more independent than ever in our mobile society.

We do have a long road ahead in many other situations and I will talk about that next time.

Return from NAD Convention

What an inspiration!
Wow! Technology has paved many new paths and accessibility for the Deaf and HOH as well as the general hearing population. Once the TTY/TDD dominated our communication channel but now that is changing rapidly before our very own eyes.
Learned about the various tools and trends one can utilized to advocate for the Deaf and HOH people. The latest cases the DOJ have resolved. Learned what is ethical and professional for interpreters when using Facebook, Twitter, and others. How about VRS Etiquette. There was information on Social Security. Did you know there are job openings for the deaf and hard of hearing in the Secret Service and other federal agencies? Found out the key concerns among most Deaf and HOH today are issues that are being addressed in H.R. 3101 and S. 3304. Yes, we need the same rights to attend movie theaters as hearing people but with closed captioned. Other chief concerns was Internet captioning, TV captioning, accommodations in hospitals and doctors offices.
Please stay tune for specifics.

Hearing loss?

Yes, I have a hearing loss. Please don't leave my blog because I have a hearing loss. Hold your horses! There is much more to me than that. Now I have your attention. Let's look beyond that diverse ability. I am like anyone else. I am married...I am a mother...I have worked full time...I get involved in the community...I volunteer my time...I enjoy immensely the Bible Study groups...I stand up for myself...I like sports...I like a good laugh...I love children...I enjoy doing crafts...I like driving cross country...I love meeting other people, and I can go on and on. I am no different than anyone else. I am ME! Be proud of who you are.