Gulp! A person learns he/she has a hearing loss. Or the hearing parent learns for the first time their beautiful child has a hearing loss. The elderly grandmother has a hearing loss. [My first question to the individual is how did he/she find out they had a hearing loss? Did they go to an Ear-Nose-Throat doctor, a certified audiologist, etc.?] Wow! It can come as a shock and numerous other reactions can occur.
Yes, it can be traumatic. In life many of us face the unexpected illnesses or tragedies that permanently disables us from doing what we used to do or enjoy. Individuals that have a hearing loss is different from person to person. In the same way, one person's prescription glasses cannot be worn by another person. If an individual is profoundly deaf that person does not have any hearing whatsoever. It's a conclusive fact.
Since a child I have lip read, read, learned from audiologists and ENT doctors, professors, researchers, deaf and hearing professionals, workshops, seminars, symposiums, and the like on how things could have been better handled when I was a child. This is the first of series I will cover on that and how I faced the fact I had a hearing loss.
How do parents tell a child she or he cannot hear like Mommy and Daddy? That answer varies from one family to the next. The sooner it is presented in a positive light rather than a negative light the better. Be loving, supportive and sincere.
First, you are still you as a human being. That is first and foremost. What's the key here? You are a human being like anyone that walks this Earth before being [and this should never come about in the 21st Century] labeled as "Deaf"/"Hard-of-Hearing (HOH) person. Okay, I just knocked the socks off of you right there. In our society today still there are people that look at you as having a hearing loss before looking at you as a person and what wonderful qualities or talents you may have instilled in you. Look at the big picture. Create the attitude that this is what I can do not what I can't do. Read this last sentence very carefully and let this sink in. If I were saying this to your face I would say afterward, "Read my lips!" That's the truth unless the person only communicates in sign language I would then use sign language.
Second, it took me 10 years to "accept" that I had a hearing loss and there was nothing I could do about it. I did not bring this upon myself. There is nothing I can do to heal my ears (some case those surgery can be the answer for some). I am still the same person I have always been. Why should I pity myself? Why should I feel sorry for myself? When I was young thinking I had a hearing loss was the last thing that entered my mind was "your deaf kiddo". I was kid. I wanted to play and be a part of the family. I wanted to learn. I wanted to do all the things my classmates did. I wanted to play house. I wanted to be a nurse. There was a period of time I actually was asking and blaming God for making me "deaf" (since then I realized under my Christian faith this is not what God did to me). In fact, it was my faith in God that made me move forward. That does not mean though there weren't times I questioned God and I did a lot of praying under my blankets at night or out in the fields on the farm. I was one curious gal as a kid. I questioned everything.
Another factor is if doctors or professionals can not pin point the reason you lost your hearing. I have a simple solution- Do Not Get Hung Up On It! It is not worth the time or energy to go in circles in your mind. Move on. I repeat move on. Realize you have a hearing problem and seek sound professional assistance in addressing how you can adjust and overcome. In my own way, I beat it. I see I have your ears perked up already. It is what it is and learn to adapt and live with it. Now, don't get the wrong idea folks. This does not mean stay at home all the time and don't go out, decline invitation to places, give up vacations, never attend parties, lock yourself up in a room or closet, decline going to meetings, etc. Remember the movie, "The Miracle Worker" with Patty Duke? This is 2010 and there are many resources and assistive devices available today for those with a hearing loss. It is hard in the beginning for anyone to learn where to turn to next. Smile...I have lots of information for you.
Stay tune for 3, 4, 5, in this series.
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